Dreams... Goals... Ambition

Had a long talk with Ryan after the gathering last night. We talked about lots of things. But what strucked me most is the topic about is dreams and goals in our life. What made us talked about it, pls read Ryans blog.

I used to have a lot of dreams. from being a pilot, to a actor to all sorts of dreams that all youngsters dream of. But as time goes and age grew, I realised that i have always wanted only i thing. And this thing has been escaping me for a good 5 years of my life. Up till a point that, i have already forgotten all about it. Thats until Ryan and me had this talk about dreams.

At the age of 19, I've already wanted very much to settle down. Thats find a good GF, get ROM and eventually get married. To people who had worked hard to achieve their 5 C's or the social status they have now may think, "what a simple dream" or "its not a very ambitious dream" but to me, its what I've always wanted.

To me, love is a big part of my life. After I have love, everything else will fall in place. Be it working hard to earn money to provide well for my family, to gain social status to make my family proud, or quit partying so as to accompany my loved ones. To me, money and status will be what I'll be after after I've found love. So love is a catalyse for me to work hard.

But then sad to say, all these have been eluding me. Thus, I'm still a nobody now. I have met old friends who are doing well in their sectors of work. "I'll be promoted to Regoinal Manager and flying to China." "I'm earning 4 to 5 k now" All these words made me start thinking to myself, am I being suay? or am I being stupid. Or simply I'm lazy. Think I'm lazy.

I've thought through this a lot of times before, what is it that i'm lacking? What is happening to me? What will I become? Its a scary thought. Until 1 day I realised that I needed a motivation, a catalyse, a pushing force for me to acheive all these. That is love. Cos I'm that sort of guy who will do anything for the love of my life.

Kelly